I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
