And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you win again, gameday.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My ass is underappreciated
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
