Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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