She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
