Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
