pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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