saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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