so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
