like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
