everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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