He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
