just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
