plz talk dirty to me
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
