so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
