Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
