If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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