Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
