Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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