So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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