wrigley field is MILF paradise
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
