he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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