we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
