I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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