What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
