I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
