Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
