Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
