he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
