Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
