I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
