So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
