Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
