when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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