spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
