my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
