what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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