it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
