Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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