Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
