yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
