Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
