Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
