someone get that fucking seahorse.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
