I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
