Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
