I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
