forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
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