i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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