How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
