I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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