were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
